Sometimes you just don't feel like doing it, but then you go out and it's OK. Wasn't really feeling it today, Nothing wrong with the legs, just tired so not much in it for speed today. I Went up to Whaddon church for a bit of a change. At least its done for the day now.
🎖️🎖️Medal Monday 🎖️🎖️
April's Medal, Folkstone10 was a beautiful 10 miles along the coastline & my first of 11 races that I didn't get that runners high,
I actually wanted to stop & not finish..but I managed to battle though a Stitch, Sciatica & Shin Splint, thinking if an 84 year old man can run this then so can I 🎖️
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Hi new followers! Thanks for following me old followers!
I'm Fiona. 🙋♀️ I've been overweight and an emotional binge eater all my life. I've tried every diet under the sun to lose weight but I believed the brain washing, that you had to starve to lose weight, I would lose a few stone, give up on starvation and gain it back again. Eventually I gave up on weight loss and life, just believing myself to be fat, trapped forever. At my biggest I've been nearly 17st and a UK size 24. A lot for some one who's 5ft 4.
One day I'd had enough, I wanted out. I couldn't live controlled by food any more. I wanted control of my life back. I'd had the most sucess on the slimming world healthy eating plan the previous year. I lost 3 stone promptly stopped going and put it back on again. And... slimming world let you eat! I finally believed I could do this.
So in January 2015 I went back to group with a 'this time will be my last' mentality. I stayed no matter what. Highs, lows, gains, downs, with the help of group and this Insta account I worked through my issues one at a time. Slowly I lost the weight. I got to target in 1 year and 6 months. I've been maintaining target for 2 years, still learning through the (many) ups and downs!
I started the couch to 5k plan to help me lose. I ran big. I went to parkrun and made friends. It was the best discovery ever!! I was a slow plodder, always at the back, but as I learnt to run I challenged every negative thought I'd ever had about myself. I felt proud! I felt like I could do anything!!! In time it helped to manage my stress and fix my relationship with food. I loved it and kept wanting more and in 2017 I ran a whole marathon. Me! The best feeling ever, I ran a marathon!
I'm still working on me. Every day I work on me. I'm still very much figuring out how to manage food and every challenge that relying on food to manage your emotions throws at you. All I know is this:
You can do it, it is possible, I am proof. Just never give up trying. Oh... and thanks for being here with me!
I wasn’t going to post a #transformationtuesday photo today BUT my @macmillancancer race vest arrived today... OMG this s**t just got R E A L 😱
So in true #transformationtuesday style... the picture on the left was taken in 2014, not at my heaviest, but not far off. I was a marshal for @macmillancancer at #yorkmarathon . We had an awesome day but I remember thinking there was not a cat in hells chance I would EVER be fit enough to run 26 steps never mind a 26 MILES!! I was really emotional on the day, running for that long seemed such a superhuman achievement and soooo many wonderful charities and people in need, benefit from all the hard work and blood, sweat and tears 😊
Fast forward to today and here I am in a size 12 running vest, nearly 4 stone lighter, training to run my first half marathon, ironically for @teammacmillan 🏃♀️ Life couldn’t be more different, I love exercising, I miss it when I can’t run, I go out of my way to walk further and hate missing my daily step count!
Goals, goals, goals
Dreams, wishes, races
Challenges, PB's, new experiences
When I started running it was for that reason only. To start running. I had just no idea what I was letting myself in for.
My main goal was to go out and exercise x3 per week and get round a parkrun without dying. But running is a funny old thing... Once you get a goal, once you've run that parkrun there is always something more waiting for you.
I started this year with spring marathon dreams, 2 muddy trail races booked, one flat half, desires for PBs. I'd written it all down, planned it all out. I still have the weekly runs and milage written on my calendar!
But... plans change. Gall bladder issues, hospital, treatment all got in the way.
I held on to those race numbers all the way through, secretly hoping. The half is in two weeks, for a long time I believed I'd get there. I've only just given up on the spring marathon plan. Dreams, plans, well, they have to change.
These pics show my 5k times. Start and PB. My head stupidly thinks being better means I'll be half marathon ready in a few weeks, I very much doubt this is sensible or will be my actual reality! The honest truth is in two weeks maybe I can walk/run a 5k again. I'll be closer to that 40 min time than that 28min PB.
My goals for this year, that I purposely did not talk about in January, included 2 marathons, a half pb with a sub 2h dream, tough mudder ideas, pushing that 5k pb.
These have now changed, put back and replaced. We're doing it one step at a time.
Run x3 per week
Extend long run
Run a 10k
Sub 1h 10k
The rest of it is still there, I will get to it. I'm adding on 'own a bike' and a possible swim/bike/run event to the dreams list. Keeping up with cycling and swimming is something I'm keen to do.
The goal posts have moved, dates are flexible, it may take 1 month or 3. The dreams still exist.
It's not about weight loss. It's not about numbers on a scale or about clothes sizes. It's got nothing to do with appearance. It's about a mindset and the triumph of self belief over doubt.
What made me start to run?
A determination and a bit of bloody mindedness that I was just going to do it. That was it. Mind made up. I'm doing this. So I got it done.
What made me run a marathon?
Same thing exactly. A deep desire to prove it to myself. Many weeks fighting my own self doubt and negativity and a healthy dose of just suck it up and get it done.
It is hard. It will hurt. You will make mistakes and you will stumble and fall. It will not happen overnight and there are certainly no magic answers or corners to cut.
It's you vs your own self doubt, fears and any other unnecessary barriers you put in front of yourself.
It is a battle and you can win.
There are so many similarities and differences between the two girls here. Both with fear, both with doubt and both with the stubborn strength to just keep on trying no matter what. That's what got me off the couch, that's what made me battle through the couch to 5k and that is what got me a marathon medal. The desire to want more.
It's not about motivation, we all know that disappears after the first few weeks. It's about a determination never to stop, never to give up trying, no matter what. It's there, it's in us all.
These 4 miles taught me one thing tonight, that running is about more than just fitness, it's mental strength too. Making yourself just go out and get them done.
Holiday miles were easy, went out in the day after a long lazy morning in bed. Tuesday's miles were easy, I managed to come home early and was out and done, motivation was high. Tonight was a different story. Busy day at school, late meeting and not in until 7pm. Didn't want to go.
It would have been so easy not to, but these are the miles that teach you strength. You just have to go. So I did, I got them done.
Completing the couch to 5k as a 15st overweight non-exerciser was huge. Every little step, a mountain.
Deciding to do it, putting the trainers on, buying XXL running kit, picking my 3 days a week and doing it, rain or shine no matter what. The 60secs on week one had me doubled over in the park gasping for breath, but I did it. Each week the increase terrified me. 90secs, 3 mins. The first 5 min run I did I stopped in the street and jumped up and down clapping myself and cheering, I just couldn't believe that I had run for 5 mins.
Then the 20 min long run came at week 5. No way, I thought. Not possible. How can I go from 8 mins to 20? You don't believe it, but you can do it, all the way to 5k.
I was so nervous for my first parkrun. Tummy nervous, sick nervous. I registered and spent a few weeks stalking the parkrun page and the facebook page. Looking at times, looking at the photos.
Could I do this? Was I ready? Could I go on my own? What if I... So many what ifs.
I stood in the carpark at #littlestokeparkrun listening to others chat, trying to mingle as people warmed up and stretched around me looking like pros. I overheard someone explaining the course so I took the opportunity to listen along. New to parkrun? Urgh... yes and I'm scared. Don't worry, we're all friends here! And so it began.
I was welcomed in. A lovely supportive community, so friendly as I lined up deliberatly right at the back making jokes about being last. Others joked and laughed at their own pace with me and put all my aniexty at ease. All round the 3 lap course there were people cheering, clapping and as I came in at the end I felt a bit like a champion. I had done it, this for me was a marathon.
Parkrun is the best experience, I instantly belonged to a community of runners. Familiar faces returning each week to support each other on their own running journeys. It was incredible as a newbie to experience a group of people of all ages and abilities unite, not just by running, but being part of a special community. Such a warmth, energy, humour, friendship and cake.
It made me go back, again and again and it taught me that, well, this girl can.